How to Talk Money at Thanksgiving
Have a productive conversation around finances with friends & family without it getting awkward.
If you’ll have young adults at your Thanksgiving table, be prepared for the topic of money to come up this year. Seventy-two percent of U.S. adults under 30 said they feel comfortable talking about finances with family and friends in the 2026 Forbright Bank Consumer Money Survey of more than 3,200 respondents. In comparison, only 56% of Millennials feel the same way, along with 47% of Gen Xers and 31% of Boomers.
Why the difference? Younger generations may face different financial pressures than older ones, such as starting their careers and families while the cost of living climbs. They also may depend on their parents for financial help, which makes the subject unavoidable.
“Social media and increasing transparency have made it easier to talk openly about all kinds of topics, including money, which was considered off-limits,” says Lucia Franco, consumer insights expert at Forbright Bank. “The older adults in our survey tend to be more private about their finances, and that’s completely understandable. What’s encouraging is that younger adults show us how helpful open money conversations can be.”
As families gather for the holidays, it may be wise to be prepared if the topic comes up. Talking about money can be a relief and even useful. While it may initially feel uncomfortable, it provides a great example and may dispel negative feelings around financial topics. Here’s how to be prepared to talk about money with family and friends if the opportunity arises this holiday season.
Talking About Money Can Be Positive
Why bring up money at all? Sometimes the answer is: don’t. Family time does not owe anyone a balance sheet. However, it’s possible others need a safe space to share money issues and learn from other family members’ financial experience.
Here are a few ways these conversations may be beneficial:
- Reduce shame and anxiety. Money carries emotional weight, especially when things are tight. Debt, overspending, thin savings, or simply not knowing how any of it works can feel embarrassing. Staying silent rarely fixes it. Saying it out loud and asking for guidance can lift a surprising amount of weight, and you may find you’re in good company.
- Build trust and alignment. Honest conversations with a partner or parent may help surface hidden debt and keep everyone pointed at the same goals. Understanding a parent’s finances matters even more if you serve as their executor or power of attorney.
- Improve financial literacy. Talking through budgets, debt, and income lets you pick up practical tips from people you trust. This is especially good for children and young adults to learn positive financial habits. Parents who talk openly about money may help children build healthy long-term financial habits instead of a fear of scarcity.
- Enable confidence in pay negotiation. Openness leads to transparency, and transparency is a real tool for pay equity.1 When salary talk moves from awkward to ordinary, it may help people negotiate with more confidence.
- Ease social pressure. Saying plainly what you can afford makes group dinners, trips, and gifts easier and fairer to plan. These conversations also answer the question most of us have quietly asked at some point: How is everyone else doing this? Learning how friends handle debt, savings, or an advisor relationship teaches everyone something.
How to Talk to Family and Friends About Money
If you expect to discuss finances with your friends and family members, the goal is to keep it warm and low stakes: less personal, less judgmental, a little humble about your own missteps, and focused on the big picture. Try to set a calm tone and focus on shared values, not dollars.
With Family
- Use “I” statements. Frame things around your own experience, so no one hears blame.
- Keep numbers private. Leaving exact dollar amounts out makes it easier to talk about goals.
- Keep advice high level. This isn’t a financial planning session. It’s a time to share history, what you’ve tried, and what you’re aiming for. If someone asks for advice, start broad so it doesn’t come across as judgment.
Ask open questions. Skip pointed questions about someone’s income or debt. Try a gentle opener instead, like asking your parents how they picture retirement.
With Friends
- Be honest upfront. Tell your friends early if you need to cut back on expensive dinners or outings. Good friends will show compassion. After all, many of them may have experienced lean times.
- Suggest low-cost fun. Take the lead and suggest free or low-cost events like a park picnic. Cities often have activities like free museum day, outdoor movies or concerts, potlucks, and book clubs.
- Avoid judgment: Celebrate your friends’ wins and never measure your balance against theirs.
You may decide the holidays aren’t the moment for money talk at all, and that’s a fine choice. But if it comes up, remember you’re talking about values and priorities, not dollars and cents. When done right, the result can leave everyone feeling closer.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information and education only. It should not be considered financial or tax advice.