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How to Avoid a Romance Scam

Protect your money and your emotions.

Looking for love this Valentine’s Day? While you may want to open your heart, you need to be careful when it comes to your finances.

Unsuspecting consumers have lost millions of dollars through romance scams, in which criminals use fake online personas to gain trust and then manipulate victims for financial gain. For example, in December 2025, an Ohio grand jury indicted a member of a criminal network that defrauded elderly victims out of more than $8 million,1 and a federal judge in Louisiana sentenced another perpetrator of romance scams to prison after defrauding four victims of more than $405,000.2

“Connecting with people online has become commonplace, but this shift has also created new opportunities for criminals to exploit people’s desires for connection and companionship,” says Tika Batra, cybersecurity leader at Forbright Bank. “Romance scams often combine emotional manipulation and sophisticated technology, resulting in significant financial losses and long-term emotional hardships for victims.”

What Are Romance Scams?

Romance scams occur when criminals create fake identities on dating sites, social media platforms, or other online spaces to develop romantic relationships with unsuspecting victims. Some scammers use artificial intelligence to make their lies more believable.

These scammers invest time building trust and emotional intimacy, often over weeks or months, before eventually requesting money for various fabricated emergencies or opportunities. The perpetrators are skilled manipulators who know how to exploit human emotions, making even cautious individuals vulnerable to their tactics.

What Are the Warning Signs of a Romance Scam?

The first step to avoiding romance scams is recognizing the common patterns these scammers use, Batra says. These patterns include:

  • Messaging privately. Scammers often move conversations away from dating platforms quickly, preferring email, text, or messaging apps where their activities are harder to monitor.
  • Declining in-person meetups. Romance scammers often claim to live far away or work abroad, providing convenient excuses for why they can never meet in person.
  • Curating attractive and impressive profiles. Scammers often use online profiles featuring attractive photos stolen from other sources. Their life stories frequently include prestigious careers like engineering, military service, or international business.
  • Attempting to progress the relationship quickly. One of the most reliable red flags is the speed at which the relationship progresses. Scammers may profess strong feelings early on, using phrases like “soulmate” or “meant to be” within days or weeks. This emotional intensity is designed to cloud a victim’s judgment and create a sense of obligation.
  • Encouraging secrecy. Scammers often discourage victims from sharing information about their relationship with friends or family members, aiming to isolate them from those who could offer an objective perspective.
How Do Romance Scammers Ask for Money?

When money enters the conversation, it should immediately raise serious red flags.

Romance scammers often invent urgent or emotional stories involving medical emergencies, travel complications, business opportunities, or customs fees. They may ask for help paying hospital bills, travel expenses for a meetup, or funds to complete a lucrative business deal.

“Some scammers will request smaller amounts initially to test your willingness to send money before they escalate to larger requests,” Batra says. “Others may ask victims to receive or forward packages, unknowingly making them complicit in money laundering schemes.”

How Can You Protect Yourself from a Romance Scam?

There are a few general rules that can help you protect yourself from falling victim to a romance scam, including:

  1. Never send money, gift cards, or financial information to someone you’ve only met online. Legitimate romantic interests won’t pressure you for financial help, especially early in a relationship.
  2. Be cautious of any online contact who refuses a video chat or consistently cancels planned meetings. Verify information independently rather than accepting stories at face value.
  3. Remain cautious about sharing personal details that could be used for identity theft or manipulation.
  4. Discuss new online relationships with trusted friends or family members who can offer objective perspectives.
  5. Conduct reverse image searches on profile photos to check if they’ve been stolen from elsewhere online.
  6. Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it likely is.
What to Do If You’re Targeted

If you suspect you’re communicating with a romance scammer, stop all contact immediately and report the profile to the platform where the interaction began.

Then, file reports with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center and the Federal Trade Commission. If you’ve sent money, contact your bank or payment service as soon as possible to report the fraud.

By staying informed about scammers’ tactics and maintaining healthy skepticism in online relationships, you can pursue meaningful connections while protecting yourself and protecting your money.

Disclaimer: This article is for general information and education only. It should not be considered financial or tax advice.

1 https://www.justice.gov/usao-ndoh/pr/ghanaian-national-charged-running-romance-scams-took-over-8-million-elderly-victims
2 https://www.justice.gov/usao-edla/pr/nigerian-resident-sentenced-33-months-imprisonment-participating-years-long-romance

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